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Fun -
Jokes
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Thursday, 18 May 2006 22:31 |
- When there's only one other person in the lift, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
- Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
- Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
- Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
- Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
- Bring a cat basket and take a nap in the corner.
- Bounce a superball around the lift.
- Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
- Stand in the corner reading a telephone book, laughing uproariously.
- Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
- Move your desk in to the lift and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
- When the doors close, use duct tape and work furiously to tape the doors together. Ask for help.
- Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
- Bring a hammer and nails and hang pictures of yourself on the walls. Ask people, "Isn't that a good picture of me?"
- Leave your 12-foot long python alone in the lift.
- Turn off the lights in the lift to "conserve energy."
- Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
- Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
- Clean your gun.
- Ask, "Did you feel that?"
- Dressed in coveralls, get in a full lift and when the door closes, push the stop button, post an "out of order" sign inside and go to work on the access panel, saying "This may take a minute."
- Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
- When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
- Push your floor button with your tongue.
- Stand alone, and when the doors open tell people trying to get on that the car is full and that they should wait for the next one.
- Swat at flies that don't exist.
- Shoot rubber bands at everyone.
- When the doors open, pretend that you bounce off a force field when you try to leave.
- Ask people not to look, and then change your clothes.
- When people get on, ask for their tickets and check that they meet the "height" requirements.
- Push the top floor button and announce that you tried to kill yourself yesterday but the other building wasn't high enough.
- Talk to people about the "golden age of lifts in the 50's." Explain why modern lifts can't compete with the "gas-powered lifts."
- Borrow small items from other people in the lift, then shout "Wheee!" as you drop them through the crack in the floor when the lift doors open.
- Jump rope.
- Bring a shovel and try to dig a hole.
- When the doors close, menacingly announce that "It's going to be a bumpy ride."
- Tell people that you can see their aura.
- Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.
- Walk on with a cooler box that has "HUMAN HEAD" on the side.
- Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
- Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
- Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
- Greet everyone getting on the lift with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
- Meow occasionally.
- Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
- Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM" and back away slowly.
- Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
- Listen to the lift walls with your stethoscope.
- Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
- Say "Ding" at each floor.
- Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
- Stare, grinning at another passenger for awhile, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
- When the lift is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."
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