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Fun -
Jokes
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Thursday, 18 May 2006 22:44 |
- How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, the General Synod believes that all bulbs should be free to choose their own degree of luminescence.
- How many Pentecostals does it take to change a lightbulb? At least 201, only one to change the bulb while 200 link hands across the church and shout AMEN to that brother!
- How many Televangelists does it take to change a lightbulb? TWO, one to remove the old bulb and one to say 'just send $10 and this beautiful glass ornament can be yours.
- How many Word Faith ministers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, change the bulb? change the bulb? Just believe and thank Him for it and it will shine!
- How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? I'm not sure of the exact number but probably several billion moving at random in water vapour, sooner or later 2 or 3 will stick together, give it a couple of million years of evolution and ... hey! ... new lightbulb!
- How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb? Ten, one to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
- How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray the light bulb will be one that has been chosen to be changed.
- How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb? Change???
- How many neo-orthodox does it take to change a bulb? No one knows. They can't tell the difference between light and darkness.
- How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb? One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
- How many independent fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, because any more might result in too much co-operation.
- How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb? At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb, they still might not change it, to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.
- How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They always use candles.
- How many members of an established Bible teaching church that is over 20 years old does it take to change a light bulb? Ten. One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old one.
- How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb? This statement was issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-dark resource), and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted—all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence. "
- How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb? "What's a light bulb?"
- How many youth pastors does it take to change a light bulb? Youth pastors aren't around long enough for a light bulb to burn out.
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